


Ice Cold Regret at the Bottom of Hell

by Lilacs_arent_dead



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Akira is practically dead inside, Angst, But thats okay bc hes still good, Character Study, Devilman lady lore, Go nagai i love you but what the fuck, Happy Ending?, Help, Hes still gay dont worry i just put it on the down low, Hes trying his best okay, How Do I Tag, Just so you know its kind of big in this one, Satan is a sad bitch, The manga sucked holy shit, Time Loop, You dont need to read devilman lady though, kind of, let him be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 09:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14997557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilacs_arent_dead/pseuds/Lilacs_arent_dead
Summary: After dying a tragic death at the hands of his friend, Akira has travelled hell helping humans and fighting demons for years. Questions left unanswered and with curiosity beckoning, Akira is persuaded to pursue the bottom ring of hell, where Satan sulks.





	Ice Cold Regret at the Bottom of Hell

The scorching pain and suffering of hell gave Akira Fudo something to ponder as years seemed to pass by. When he wasn’t sitting on the edge of bone white forests and reviewing his life, he was guiding people. Taking them where they wanted to go and keeping them out of momentary harm. Though, to keep them alive for more than five days at a time was not an easy feat due to the harsh climate and bloodthirsty demons. They always died and melted into the flesh ground to get reborn again into anguish of reality. It hurt Akira to see them go, and he had began to hold a constant hatred against himself when he couldn't save a single person.

They were all stuck here in a constant repeat of death. For the most part. Demons migrated to the surface all the time, it was just a matter of getting past the last ring of hell. The one frozen over and where nothing could live long term, even demons. It was a trial getting down there, you'd have to voyage through chance circumstances and high ranking demons. But, Akira knew all the shortcuts and tricks for surviving hell. His superhuman strength and knowledge of demons aided this fact. He was needed here, and was content with that fact. He had no plan to try to leave or outwit his situation. Though, through all this, something always drew Akira to the final ring. The tug and pull of the strings of his subconscious and indefatigable mind. 

So, that's how he found himself battered up, blood biting his broken skin, and deep shades accentuating his bruises. Akira was positive his leg was broken, and on top of that, the temperature dropped below freezing in matter of minutes. The intense wind had left a raw chill unlike anything else Earth. It seemed like it penetrated further than his bones and into his very soul. Akira’s feet softly crunched ice as he limped over hell’s icey barren wasteland. Under the ice were a variety of demons and humans, some so lifelike, as if frozen in time. Several of them reached up with gaping mouths in silent screams. It was an unsettling image to say the least, and sent a shiver down Akira’s back. Upon inspecting the scenery is when Akira saw Satan's awfully mundane house next to the enormous frozen Lord Zennon, and sandwiched between icy cliffs.

It was almost a comically average size. A two story cottage completely sculpted from ice. As Akira drew nearer, the ice engraved details were meticulous and accurate, from the panels and texture of wood to individual tiles on the roof. Now that he thought about it, Akira had no idea why he was here, at the doorstep of Satan, Lord of the underworld, destroyer of Earth, tempter of sins. Ryo Asuka. Akira felt like he needed answers and was left with plenty questions on what happened when he was alive. That deep part of Akira is what persuaded him to do what he did next, and quite literally knock on the Devil’s door.

The door opened and a soft voice breathed “Akira.” It was none and all emotions, light and dark, whispered but shouted, hissed and cried, but to simple it down, it was just spoken. Really spoken. And Akira was awestruck at the simplicity of hearing his old best friend’s voice again. 

“I never thought I'd see you again.” Ryo murmured. That's how they stood, in the doorway to an outrageously ordinary house, looking at each other in partial disbelief for minutes on end, just soaking in the atmosphere. Silence. “Please come in, it was rather rude of me to leave you standing there, wasn't it?” He moved his inhumanly elongated body to step to the side to let Akira pass. Akira stepped in, out of curiosity of what it would look like and where this encounter was heading. Oddly enough, the inside was warmer than it's bitter counterpart. Ryo glowed softly, illuminating the ice house and casting faint shadows along the walls. It was furnished plainly, the basic couch and coffee table combo with a rug. An even simpler kitchen overlooked this area. It was less detailed than everything else, but nonetheless had an ironic fridge, a few upper cabinets and lower cabinets, and a stove with a kettle on it. Other than that, there was a stairwell to the right. 

“Go ahead and sit down.” Ryo gestured to the couch. “Do you want some water? I know the path down here is quite elaborate.” Akira nervously made his way to the couch and gently sat. He was so off put by this goddamn house after not seeing anything except for dead trees and rotting bodies for years. He was completely distracted in every way, captivated by the ordinariness. When Akira didn't respond, Ryo went to the kitchen to fetch him some water anyway. 

When Ryo returned, Akira was in less of a daze. The air was tense as Ryo sat down, a good space away, but still next to Akira on the couch. He set cup of water in front of Akira on the table. Akira observed the clear liquid in the cup made of ice, sniffed it little, and continued to down the whole thing swiftly. It had a nasty sulfuric aftertaste. “Where the fuck did you get liquid water in this shit hole?” Akira attempted to joke but his voice was flat and tired. 

Ryo seemed a little taken back from Akira speaking for the first time since he got here. “I was able to heat it up with my hands.” He stated and Akira grunted a little in response. They sat in silence some more.

“What's with the?” Akira made a sweeping gesture with his hand.

“Oh, the house?” Ryo fidgeted with his fingers. “I heard from my lookouts you were coming and I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe you're here. I wanted this cold, algid place to seem more,” he hesitated, “homely.” It ended like a question, a little voice lift at the end to signify his unsure feelings about the word. Homely.

“Well it certainly is something.” Akira gazed over the room once again. “I can’t believe I’m here too. I had to beat up Sirene, again.” He emphasized and chuckled a little bit, “Bird bitch just can't get enough of me.” 

“Oh, I'm sure she's thinking she got enough of you when she face planted straight into that volcano.” Ryo’s lips lifted a little. He didn't like her anyway, too disobedient.

“You watched the fight?”

“I wouldn't miss your fights for heaven, Akira.” There was such a sincere quality to his voice as he talked. This time the silence between them was comfortable.

“Don't you find this house off putting?” Akira spoke and looked around paranoid.

“Why would I?”

“It just reminds me of everything I miss.” Ryo just nodded his head a little in acknowledgment, letting Akira rant on. “I-I miss normal water and regular temperatures that don't fluctuate between burning and freezing and school and the Makimura’s house, and being a regular teen a-and my friends.” Akira’s voice started cracking and sniffling at the end. He hasn't cried about his past life in forever, but the nostalgia had already hit.

Ryo didn't know how to comfort him. “You'll see them soon enough.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“God has set us up in loops. Everytime I destroy the world, God smites me back to hell and we wait here until the world is ready to rebirth us. Everything from the past loops is erased except for Jenny’s memory.”

“Then how come you remember the loops?” Akira wiped the left over tears in his eyes. He had suddenly found himself intrigued.

“Jenny has allowed me to.” The angel stated calmly.

“Can I remember too?”

“You're not allowed to.” Ryo said quickly.

“Why not?” Akira’s voiced cut through sharply.

“You’re just not allowed to, stop asking.”

“Why am I not allowed to!” Akira responded more aggressively.

Ryo twitched, annoyed. The conversation had escalated far faster than Ryo expected. This was not where he wanted this to go. “Stop being so childish and trust me.”

“Trust you! Listen here fucker, you can't destroy the world over and over again in loops and withhold knowledge from me. You killed everyone!” Akira had so much built up anger pouring over the edges. Ryo just stared silently at the floor. “It's your fucking fault everyone died and keep on dying! The least you can do is let me have my memories and know what happened.” Akira's voice raised to furious demands by the end and he was already crying. Ryo doesn't have to look up to know that.

Ryo was shaking. It was irrational to think someone like him could still experience such emotions like fear. Pent up lies weighed on the shoulders of his dropping body.

“Because you'll hate me Akira!” Ryo cried.

“Why shouldn't I?” He shouted back.

With that final statement in mind, Ryo started sobbing. Sobbing as ugly as an angel can get, letting out aching heaves. Plinking clear tears against cold ice. He wanted nothing to do with this weak emotion but submitted to it without a second glance. Ryo tucked his knees up to curl into a ball and cried.

Yet, he still made stumbled words. “You think I want this? I've watched you in 567 loops die. 567 times. Everytime you die I am left with this emptiness in my chest I can't replace.” There was a pause. “Everytime you're gone I miss you.” Akira moved his hand reluctantly to be placed on Ryo’s back. Now that he looked at it, there were 6 scars in mock to where his back wings usually were. His skin was so soft and warm under Akira's callused fingers.

“It's all some sick joke I can't shake. At the end of every cycle I repent for my actions and realize that I'm wrong and human life shouldn't be killed off like demon life shouldn't, but it’s never enough.” Ryo wailed.

“He wants me to give up the demons, Akira. He wants me to give them all up.” He whispered hoarsely and looked up to look at Akira with red eyes. “You hate me because I kill everyone, but I hate myself sometimes because of that too. I didn't build this house to please you. I missed the life we had. When everything was simpler and we were just teenagers. When there were stupid houses and little china cups and fireplaces and big coats and sunsets.” Ryo looked away. “And sometimes you were there and it was better.”

Akira pulled the angel into a hug and Ryo felt himself soften into Akira's grip. “I'm so sorry. I can't leave the demons and I have to continue to challenge God. I didn't mean for you to get trapped in my battle.”

“It's okay Ryo, I forgive you.”

Satan found himself comforted in the embrace of those words. The burden of killing the world had lifted. Akira knew his dire circumstances, weak emotions, and that Ryo would keep up his endless fight until it broke the fire within him. And Akira, against all rationality, understood and accepted these factors. 

Because at the end of the day, Satan was more human than angel.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic! Haha yeah so this pretty much piggy backs on the idea of Satan chilling at the bottom layer of hell, like in Devilman Lady and I was like, well heck, what if instead of Ryo already being reincarnated like in the manga, what if he was still there. Comment any grammer, spelling, or generally really bad writing mistakes, I'm all ears.


End file.
